Taking a step back

I don't have a lot of inspiration right now. Not just for the blog but also for writing and reading. I think it's the words. I've been having problems with words lately. It has come to my attention that I don't give people the words they need. And I don't give myself the words I need. I'm not soaking in enough helpful words, not brewing enough deep ones inside myself. I don't have writers' block, I just have writers' unmotivated laziness. During recent travels I came to the horrible realization that I was not inspiring people, especially the ones I love the most. How can I write beautiful stories when my own story is one about a girl who has turned so inward that she forgets to tell people that there existence means something to her? Where is the beauty in that? How dare I delve into the hearts and souls of my characters when I shrink back at any attempt to delve into my own thoughts and feelings? 

  I read in a book about writing that if you wait for inspiration before you write than you will spend a lot of time waiting. I've heard from many writers that writing is about writing so just sit your butt down and write. I agree with this to a degree. If a person wants to be a serious writer then they need to be disciplined, just like if you want to be a basketball player you have to work out and play when you are tired, if you want to be a writer you have to exercise your craft and work even when it's dragging. 

  But there's more to it than that. You have to deal with yourself first. Sometimes we have to fight our personal monsters before we can thrive at what we love. I don't know what you like to do or what you want to be or what is holding you back from being the best at it. But I know that I've been learning how to be a better friend and better daughter and a better person and through all that I think I am learning how to be a better writer. I've been taking a break because I haven't had inspirations for the particular stories I'm working on right now. But they need me. They need a chance to be finished and read and published. The boy needs to fight his demons and the girls need to have time to heal. 

  I need to take care of myself and take care of them and I need to write. Starting with this blog. 

  So if you made it through this rambling than     1) Thank you for bearing with me and 2) Maybe you need a break from what you love or what are good at and just ask yourself how you are doing, what you are doing good at in life and what you need to work on, go call someone you love and tell them how much they mean to you, get a cup of coffee and stare at it for a little while and maybe, just maybe, you'll learn something..