The "F" Word

  I would like to take a moment to discuss the profanity of the coffee world. I hate to use this kind of language here but, yes, I am talking about....
  Folgers.
  Pardon me while I wash my fingers' mouths with soap... Okay, I'm back.
  Now. Let me lay out this scene for you:
A nice, average person walks into their local grocery store. They pick up the eggs and milk and other          average things. "Oh, and I need some coffee." All is well and good so far. They go to the Coffee and   Tea isle. Now they are bombarded with a choice. Oh, my gosh. Coffeecoffeecoffee. This average person has already had to decide 2% or 1%? Almond? Silk Milk? Organic? Brown eggs? White eggs? Farm fresh?
Too many decisions! Why can't things be easier?
And now, here we are in the coffee section, tons of coffee staring them in face.
At this point there is a mental shutdown.
The brain searches for some familiarity to grasp onto before it completely lets go and swims into the oblivion of indecision.
Then.
A name sticks out to them, reaching it's hand like the Shimmering Angel of Morning Blends. It says to them, "You know me. You see me at your grandparents house, at church gatherings, on TV, in cabinets all across the U.S.A, and in your heart. You know that I am always here to bring caffeine and love."
The person falls for the beauty of the red container and buys the Angel.
But the angel is not really an angel. It's the bane of sophisticated blends, it's the demon that haunts coffee-lovers, making us shudder in our sleep. It is Folgers.

 
I feel it is my duty to raise awareness for this common and horrifying problem sweeping across our great nation. I entreat you, for the love of coffee, try different blends. I know the"F" word is cheap, but so are other, better coffees. It's a bit of a treasure hunt, but didn't we all want to be pirates at some point in our lives?