Coffee is a communal drink. Even if you are drinking it alone, it's been shared with you. It has been harvested, roasted, ground and brewed. Sometimes all of these steps are done by different people. Sometimes all of these steps are done in different countries. Coffee skillfully induces community, bringing together people from all places and stages of life.
Today I received a mysterious package.
But I'll come back to that.
Over a year ago I met a girl not much younger than myself. She had dark hair and wore dark clothes. I could tell by her subtle mannerisms and glances that she felt outcasted by her peers, so I made an effort to include and befriend her. Not long after we started talking, we got on the subject of coffee. She told me about her parents’ weird obsession with Dunkin Donuts flavored coffees and how they would buy bags and bags of it. The conversation moved on and soon we both had to go. But I had hope that we had a connection. In her I saw familiar walls. Walls built because of past hurts. Walls that made it hard for anyone to get close.
To my extreme surprise, the next day she brought me three bags of Dunkin Donuts flavored coffee! At the time I didn't have a lot of money so I rarely, if ever, bought bags of coffee.
There was a sweet irony to the fact that I was the one trying so hard to help this girl feel accepted and loved, yet she turned around and made me feel recognized and cared about.
That's why I say coffee is communal. It connects people and helps people open up, especially the people who don't think that they need to (aka: Me).
At first, I assumed one of my brothers had sent me the mysterious package as a late birthday present. But, when asked, they all denied having sent anything.
A few months ago a wrote a list. I write lists often because they keep me on track and make me feel accomplished. But this list wasn't a check-off list. I wanted to write down what I wanted in my college experience. My reason for writing out this list was because I knew if I didn't have goals to stick to, I would bury myself in schoolwork and never come out to invest in people or dance in the rain.
One of the things I put on this list was that I wanted to be able to share my coffee and use it to help people.
While this was very important to me, I admit I was a tiny bit concerned that I would run out of coffee, and money. Part of me wanted to keep my coffee to myself so that it would last.
When I arrived at college I told the girls on my dorm hall and many random people I met that I loved to make coffee and if they ever needed some just to let me know.
I now have a special chair in my room that I pull out for people to sit in while they drink their coffee or while they are waiting for me to make them a specialty drink. And they do. People ask me to make them some coffee because they have to pull an all-nighter, people come in to unload some stress while drinking soothing tea, people come for study breaks, or just to chat.
I want my coffee to be safe place, I guess. Mostly because I feel there are not many safe places left. I want to be able to bring some relief and relaxation for my peers here, partially because I know what it feels like not to be able to find that safety. I also know what it feels like not to being able to find good coffee. And that is a tragedy I will fight at all costs.
When I cut open the package, I proceeded to pull out a bag of coffee. Then another, and another, and another. Four bags of coffee, and no idea who sent them.
I laugh at myself now, thinking about how concerned I was that I would run out of coffee. Since being at college I have shared many cups and pots of coffee. Since being at college I have not purchased a single bag of coffee. Since being at college I have been given ten bags of coffee.
As I pulled out all the coffee bags, I had to chuckle.
After much confusion I texted my mom and she told me who sent the coffee. I had never heard of the person. She explained that he "remembers you from when you were a little girl in fluffy dresses."
Someone, somewhere, remembered me as a short, golden-haired toddler and decided to give me coffee. He doesn't know me now, but he made my day, and, he made it possible for me to continue helping people get through exams and stressful relationships by giving them a warm drinks for no charge. The cool thing about community is that is spreads. Someone helps someone who help someone who helps someone.
That's how coffee is communal or, as a wise man once put it: a catalyst for togetherness.